Planting Seeds..... (Religious post.. fair warning)

I feel like I need to say this… (perhaps before I forget..) My experience as an inactive member of the church has been long and drawn out.. I attended church once in a while.. probably every other month or so. I feel truly lucky to have the life that I DO have, because I certainly wasn’t searching the right way for it…I was blessed with my great family anyway… But to be honest, I wasted a lot of time when I should have been accomplishing the tasks God had intended for me…. I am now painfully aware of the experiences I have missed out on, and the slow process of finding my way back to living the gospel every day.

It is easy to think that you can “sin now, and repent later…” but I can’t begin to tell you how much harder it is to find the motivation to get going again. For a number of years, Sunday was considered to be a “day off” for our family, one of leisure, and laziness…. I Didn’t spend my inactive years killing, or doing drugs, or living a horrible life… but I am honestly a little embarrassed and even ashamed of what I was ACTUALLY spending most of that time doing-Nothing.

Don‘t get me wrong… I had a lot of blessings over the years too… I married my best friend, became a step mom and later a mom to my own children… but when I say I did nothing, I mean nothing to further my education or spirituality.. I didn‘t even maintain friendships like they are meant to be nurtured… I stayed in my house with my (wonderful and adorable) children and husband, but even then, I feel like I did nothing..  I’m sure I could have been a better mother all this time… and I KNOW I could have been a better wife. Letting God into a marriage is a very humbling-and gratifying thing! I feel like I know my husband better, although I have always considered him my best friend. He knows me better than anyone on this earth, yet I kept my deepest thoughts and hopes from him. I wish I didn’t have to say that…. But I didn’t know how much it meant at the time. I didn’t know that an eternal family was Possible for me.....
I didn’t know if I was worth it. But I am slowly gaining my testimony, and self worth back… and I am gaining the confidence to go out and DO what God has planned for me… because while I have missed out on experiences up to this point, I know he has big plans for me. My patriarchal blessing makes that perfectly clear. I am excited and anxious to get going on it and I only hope I don’t let Him down again!…

Another thing I need to say before I forget it, is that there were members of our ward (and others) that visited our family over the years. I can easily see how they may have felt their presence was unwanted, or unappreciated. They were given the “task” of fellowshipping my family, with the thoughts that their efforts were likely going unnoticed…. But as an inactive person, I can honestly say, every time someone stopped by, or called, or visited with me in the store…. They planted a seed. That seed may not have been watered in time, but the seed was planted. And people continued to “plant those seeds” over time… with the hope that one day we might water them. And guess what? When we finally started to water those seeds, things started to grow all around us! It feels good to go to church, and see a familiar face…. To have a few people in the ward who know we aren’t “New to the area” because those are the few people who know how big of an effort we are trying to make… and they can possibly appreciate how hard we are trying-when others might not even give it another thought. I’m sure there are several people who look down on us for not living perfect lives from the beginning, but judgments aside, we are definitely paying for our decisions… I try not to think about what people think of me, because I bet I am being harder on myself than any of them could ever be…

I hope, when I am asked to visit an inactive family, I can Remember my experiences over the last few years, and befriend them without expecting an immediate return… because in my case, it certainly wasn’t immediate, but it happened! I am also grateful for those members who kept themselves worthy-and available-to my family for when we WERE ready… Because in our experience, once the ball started rolling… it didn’t slow down! (I wrote a detailed post about the events that lead up to everything.. it's a little too personal to share right now..) We were blessed in knowing WHO to call… and luckily, they had been living worthily to be ABLE to help us when we needed them most… They could have easily “fallen off the wagon” in the time it took us to climb on.. And then we would be alone yet again…  Our gospel is such a treasure… it isn’t something to live when it is convenient or easy… I hope someone is able to learn from my experience.. Because God has a funny way of humbling people… and rarely is it a simple or painless process… I think it is a little like reading the scriptures… They are such a powerful tool, to help us learn from others’ experiences, before God has to give those trials to us…

2012 goals

Because I was on bedrest at the beginning of the year, I tried not to even let myself think about my New Year Resolutions, but now that baby Kaimyn is here, I really need to put my thoughts somewhere while the motivation is still here... I gained a total of 11 pounds during this last pregnancy, 8 lb and 14 oz of it were my baby!! so i obviously am back to my pre-pregnancy weight already... but i still have a LONG way to go.. I intend to be back to my PRE-pregnancy weight... the weight i was before getting pregnant the FIRST time... and that will take a little while!!

Not only do I need to lose weight, but I also need to reconstruct my life in general... Before I got pregnant, I really wanted to go back to work.. I was over the "house mom" job, wanting more of a social life and tasks other than folding laundry and cleaning... With 5 children to take care of, it feels like I would be taking the "easy way out" pawning them off on someone else so I can have a social life.. but there are times that I would rather work 40 hours a week JUST to pay a maid, cook, and nanny! haha

However, after being on bedrest for the Majority of my pregnancy (accepting help from lots of wonderful friends in the meantime), I now want nothing more than to BE that stay at home mom right now...

to maintain a stress free and happy home,
to end each day with at least a clean kitchen and living room,
to have a well balanced meal prepared for my husband when he gets home from work,
to become more active and find things I enjoy outdoors,
to get ready at the beginning of the day, so I am not embarrassed when I see people
to balance my family's finances and save lots of money,
to teach my children that they don't have to rely on video games and tv for entertainment,
to have FUN and take more pictures with my family

When I think about all of these things, it is easy to feel overwhelmed by them and think there can't possibly be enough time in the day... but I know that the reason I haven't accomplished them already is because i have NEVER been good at following a schedule. so, at the end of every day, there is a list of unfinished tasks.. if i can finally learn how to stick to my schedule, i think these things can all get accomplished this year.. i don't have a plan in place quite yet, but i have every intention of posting it when i do :)

any tips you guys have would be greatly appreciated :)

30 day challenge

This looks fun, so i thought I would give it a try! I saw it on a friend's post as I was attempting to catch up on the 1000+ unread blog entries.. i think i need to do a purge of the blogs i rarely read.. (which is pretty much all of them right now, because the task seems so daunting!) It is supposed to be completed within 30 days, but i'm giving myself until the end of the year.. maybe then it will actually get accomplished! haha. Feel free to copy me, because obviously thats what i did!

day 1- recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself
day 2- the meaning behind your blog name
day 3- a picture of you and your friends
day 4- a habit that you wish you didn’t have
day 5- a picture of somewhere you've been to
day 6- favorite super hero and why
day 7- a picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you
day 8- short term goals for this month and why
day 9- something you're proud of in the past few days
day 10- songs you listen to when you are happy, sad, bored, hyped, mad
day 11- another picture of you and your friends
day 12- how you found out about blogger and why you have one
day 13- a letter to someone
day 14- a picture of you and your family
day 15- put your ipod on shuffle: first 10 songs that play
day 16- another picture of yourself
day 17- someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why
day 18- plans/dreams/goals you have
day 19- nicknames you have and why you have them
day 20- someone you love
day 21- a picture of something that makes you happy
day 22- what makes you different from everyone else
day 23- something you crave for a lot
day 24- your last five facebook status'
day 25- what I would find in your bag
day 26- what do you think about your friends
day 27- why are you doing this 30 day challenge
day 28- a picture of you from last year and now, how have you changed since then?
day 29- in this past month, what have you learned
day 30- your favorite song

Baby #5!!!

You may have already heard, but incase you haven't... my husband and I are expecting AGAIN! No, it wasn't planned... and yes, Logan was "supposed" to be our last.. but sometimes God has different plans for us.

I have had pregnancy symptoms for months now... but with Logan still so small, I didn't dare to take a pregnancy test! (He doesn't have any teeth yet, he started crawling a week ago, and he can say "dadda" and mumble baby words..)SO when he could FINALLY crawl, I decided it was time to find out what I secretly already knew.. I have never seen a "positive" reading appear that fast. Ever. SO, then it was time to find a way to tell my husband... We had a talk a few weeks ago, and I jokingly told him if i WAS pregnant, I wouldn't tell him for about 5 months so he wouldn't have to worry as long.. (Mostly because of finances... our doctor bills from the LAST pregnancy aren't paid off yet.. and lets face it-having babies are Expensive) So I planned on at LEAST waiting until Father's day.. But when I came out of the bathroom, I couldn't stop smiling.. He kept asking what I was smiling about, and I lied..

I knew I couldn't last a week, but I wanted to tell him in a cute way.. So I went to Pizza Hut and had them write "Baby #5" with olives.. I put a picture of the pregnancy test below the pizza and told him dinner was ready. He stared at the pizza for what seemed like forever, and when I gave him a hint, he started saying "No, No, No" over and over.. He calmed down a little, then got the same freaked-out smile I had.. Then I said, "See, THATS why I had to tell you... so we both can look like that!"


I feel like I have gone from one end of the spectrum to the other. As I mentioned in an older post, since I was 17 years old I was told I was infertile... and when I was 20 the doctor recommended having my ovaries removed.. so I KNOW what that feels like.... and NOW, lets just say I can also relate to those who feel like their diaper changing days will never end!

But to be completely honest, I love my children so much... so I know this is gonna work out! I might not have an immaculate house (lets face it, I already don't!) and I might have days where I don't want to get out of bed.. but this is just a small part of the picture... and eventually, it will be great to have them so close together...

Maddi and Logan are 21 months apart, and Logan and the new baby will be around 17 months apart.. so I will definitely have my hands full!

I have a feeling there won't be many "pregnancy pictures" of me this time around, but these are the most recent pictures I have, so you can get an idea of exactly how "little" my babies are!

Some of my favorites...

I was looking through my pictures on the computer, and I found a bunch that I forgot I had.. here are a few of my favorites..

I fell in love with my Milkman... literally...

People have asked how Stewart and I met, and it is a complicated story.. I usually don't want to (or have time to) get into it, but tonight I have a few moments to myself and feel like writing something.. so here it is, for anyone interested..

My aunt got me a job at Smith's Food and Drug when I was 17 years old.. I worked as a bagger at first, then later moved to Customer Service and the Fuel Center. Stewart worked Graveyard shift stocking shelves, so I didn't know him very well. He was married at the time and had 2 kids.. so he was obviously off limits. We were somewhere between acquaintances and friends.. chatting occasionally about meaningless things, and sometimes talking about his family. I do remember one night, he came in with electrical tape wrapped around his hand.. He had cut it pretty badly with glass right before he came to work. I told him it would get infected if it wasn't taken care of properly, and I ended up being the one to bandage it.. (Kinda cool now, cuz years later-he still has that scar, and I have the memory of nursing him back to health:)


I dated one of his friends, and went to a few barbecues at Stewart's house. Morgan was barely a year old, and Gabriel was 2 at the time. While it definitely wasn't "Love at first sight" with us, I always thought highly of him, and you might even say I had a crush on him... but I would never have acted on those feelings. One thing I will admit though, is that I didn't think things were going to work out with his first marriage. I wasn't anticipating failure, but a small part of me questioned whether he was really happy or not. I moved away a few times, but every time I came back to town I would casually ask how things were going with him and his wife... Each time he would say "Good" or "Okay" or something. Then one day inside Subway, I got an answer I wasn't expecting... (By this point he had moved to the Dairy department, and worked a semi-normal schedule)

I remember the day clearly... He came in with his friend Mike after they got back from the lake.. and when I asked the usual question, Mike said, "Didn't you hear? They are getting a divorce.." I truly felt bad for him, but instantly I saw a "Newly Available" sign above his head... I didn't act on anything, as I was planning on moving to Provo soon anyway. BUT in the meantime I made a lot of unnecessary trips to the Dairy Section, just to say hi :)

I dated a few people during this time, and when one relationship ended, I decided to make a trip to Vernal for the weekend.. I went on a date with one guy on Friday night, but it didn't really go great.. The next day, I was in Smith's, and my friend Ashley (who knew how much I liked Stewart-in fact, a lot of the girls at the store liked him..) asked if I had talked to him yet. I told her I didn't see him back there, but it wasn't a big deal. I left the store, and she called me on my cell. She told me he was in the back room, and she would stall until I got there, so I HAD to go back.. I told her I would, and turned around and headed back to the store..

When I got there, I was really embarrassed because I thought she told him about our conversation, but she assured me she hadn't.. We talked for several minutes, and he asked me on a date that night... I was leaving the next day, but decided it would be fun.

Our first date S.U.C.K.E.D... in fact, if it had been anyone else, I might not have gone on another one... Would you like to know what it consisted of?? HALO. And an extra player... Yeah, I spent the majority of my first "date" watching him and his friend play Halo for a few hours. When I finally said I was going to leave, he turned off the game and asked if I wanted to watch a movie, and I agreed to it..

We have literally talked EVERY day since then. I made a LOT of 3 hour trips back and forth (basically every day off I had). He came to visit me in the city, and thats when I decided he was a keeper. Plus, I loved his kids to DEATH and it was so hard watching him raise them by himself.. After nearly 3 months of weekly travel, I finally decided it was worth moving home for. And guess what.. It was. :) 4 years and 5 weeks later (1,496 days to be exact) he is still my best friend..

Maddi's Lingo

I have been trying to work with Madilynn on her Alphabet, Numbers, Colors, etc... and I wanted to write down what she says before she grows out of it... She is so exhaustingly adorable :) I just love her! (She turned 2 on November 7th.. even though sometimes I feel like I'm dealing with a teenager! ha)
Here she is talking on her cell phone with 3D Glasses on lol




Alphabet-I try to teach her the alphabet song All the time, and sometimes she cries, sometimes she just keeps saying E, and sometimes this is our conversation..
Me: Maddi can you say A?
Her: No.
Me: B?
Her: No.
Me: C?
Her: No. etc... Eventually she rolls her eyes at me (or starts crying) and I give up...

Counting-Maddi, lets count to 10! 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10....
Her: 8?? 8. 8. 8. 8. 8. 8. (apparently 8 is her favorite number..)

Colors-Here is one that I can actually get her participation with... These are the colors, and then how SHE says them.. I love her little speech impediment :)

Blue: Bew
Black: Bat
Yellow: We-wow
Red: Wed
Green: Jean
Pink: Beent
Orange: Onj
Purple: Pubbow (sometimes she says Bubbow.. so when she wants her purple cup, it sounds like Bubble Butt :)

Other fun things she says:

Gabriel: Way Wo
Morgan: Mor Din
Logan: Odin or Wo Win

Elephant: Eppodent
Duck: Dudth (like width)
Spoon: Schoon
Okay: O Hay
"Mom, div me tiss"
"Here dow Brubba" (Here you go Brother)
"Mom I hold you" (when she wants me to pick her up)
Maddi, can you say "I'm 2?" "No, I not 2 mom."(then she rolls her eyes..)

Another fun thing she always says is "Oh, Sorry Mom.." then chuckles.. for almost everything I tell her to do..

There is so much more, but I can't think of it at the moment.. I hope at least Someone out there thinks it's as cute as me.. but if not, at least I can remember it for later :)

Breast truly IS Best! :)

This morning, I had what Oprah would call an Aha! moment(which is, by definition-a defining moment where you gain real wisdom - wisdom you can use to change your life.)

I Finally scheduled a postpartum checkup a few days ago, 2 weeks past the "six week checkup". I have been somewhat hesitant-assuming that I would only receive affirmation that I haven't been eating right, exercising enough, or something equally frustrating. I had every intention to tell my doctor I was willing to stop nursing so he could put me on weightloss pills...

I made it to my doctors appointment, toddler at my heels and newborn carseat in arms... preparing for the usual High Blood Pressure reading (I was told I had "White Coat Hypertension" during my pregnancy) and worried about a certain "test"(which was negative, by the way! lol). The nurse was as surprised as I was that my blood pressure gave a normal reading, and I nervously stepped on the scale.

Without revealing the exact number, I will say this. I have lost a whopping 32 pounds since having my adorable baby boy (even though I only gained 11 pounds during the pregnancy)! Now, don't get me wrong, in order to meet my ultimate goal I still have a long way to go... but this was Definitely more than I could have hoped for! I can honestly say I didn't think I had lost more than 5 pounds or so... I still feel very unattractive, with a "flat tire" stomache and love handles... but at least the tire is FLAT!! and I owe most of it to breastfeeding! lol.. After seeing how much I can lose without putting much effort into it, I am so much more motivated to start paying attention to what I'm eating now.

WOW.. where have i been?!?!

I just realized this morning that i haven't posted any updates on our family in a reallllly long time. For a while i was too busy, then the idea of catching up on the 72 blogs i follow just seemed more like work than fun! So i haven't even Dared to log onto my blogger account... BUT now that this baby is almost here, i have a feeling that there will be plenty of "catch up" time soon :)

I.HATE.Needles.... but love my husband :)

Let's just start by saying this-I am afraid of shots. Just look at this timeline, and tell me you wouldn't feel the same :)
1990ish: Went with my mom to a WIC appointment. One of my siblings got a shot, and I woke up on the floor, under a table...
1996: Got my ears pierced. Did just fine, but when my mom got her's pierced after mine, I passed out...
1998: Stepped on a glass cup, and had to have 40 or 50 stitches in my big toe. 2 weeks later, it popped back open, and I had to have it redone... I told the doctor not to use so many needles, so I ended up feeling the whole.thing...
2007: Find out I am pregnant, and have to get blood work done. The girl couldn't seem to find my vein, and poked me SIX times! This is no exaggeration... After the 4th one, I told her I didn't feel well, and she said she was going to try one more time. After the 6th try, she got the blood she needed, but then I passed out. and threw up.
2007: About a month later, I went with my sister to get tested for Mono. They got her blood-4 vials! and she passed out.. I helped her get back on her feet, then I passed out, dropping a cup of water all over the floor in the meantime. After I woke up, I grabbed a garbage bag, and threw up. Again. The nurses sent us home when we seemed able to drive... Needless to say, we didn't find out if she had Mono until the next day.
2010: The beginning of February was my 2nd doctor's appointment... so the doctor told me I needed bloodwork done. He gave me the Doctor's Order for it, and I took it home and conveniently forgot about it... Then, when it came time to reschedule my appointment, I still hadn't done the bloodwork (and had NO desire to...) so I put off the appointment an extra month! I Finally scheduled my appointment, telling myself I would force myself to just get it done. NOPE. Went to the doctor yesterday, and still hadn't done the bloodwork... My husband came with me to the appointment, and told the doctor i was being a baby and wouldn't get it done, had him write another Doctor's Order... and walked me straight to the Lab. Dang it!!! Luckily, the girl got it on the FIRST POKE this time, and my husband was there to protect/support me :) Now he will have to hold my hand every time i have to get a shot :)

Rants from a Pregnant Woman...

Incase any of you are keeping track, I am no longer eating Chicken, Turkey, or ANYTHING that contains Seafood. This baby better get here soon or I just might become a Vegetarian!!!

I am only 15 and a half weeks, and look like I am 30 weeks... I feel bloated and disgusting (even though I have actually lost 9 pounds so far), and if I didn't have to take care of 3 kids, I would probably be typing this from my bed. I thought I was doing great, because I haven't had a single day of morning sickness, but let me just tell you-this baby has definitely proven it's existence in other ways... like the frequent bathroom visits, horribly hot feet, insomnia, and crankiness...

And my poor kids.. I know I am being harder on them than I should be, but I usually realize it AFTER I have gotten after them for a stupid reason.. I have tried to make up for it by letting them do extra activities, and they seem to be unphased by it :)

On a happier note, Stewart decided yesterday that we SHOULD find out the sex of the baby.. I was on the fence about it, but mostly wanted to find out! SO, we should know on the 24th if we are having another baby girl, or if we will get a baby boy this time!! We are hoping for a boy.. Especially Gabe.. He is 7 years old, and has 4 little sisters (between ours and his mom's).. and I have never seen a child more eager to share a bedroom!! lol. Since this is our last baby, we have had our fingers crossed.. but when it comes down to it, all that REALLY matters is that he or she is Healthy!

Word of the Day Calendar... well, sort of...

I have a second grader and kindergartener, and I just LOVE when they come home from school using these big words that I wouldn't ever THINK to teach them... and even more-I love when they think they know what a word means and use it incorrectly.. A.D.O.R.A.B.L.E! (insert word document that wouldn't upload correctly HERE)

I started thinking more about it today, and I came up with a list for each of them... I (googled) vocabulary words for their grade levels, and chose words that they don't normally use. I WAS going to make a "Word of the Day Calendar", but since we have to share the kids with their mom every other week, I decided to leave the list as-is, and they could add a star each time they use the word correctly! Once they have used the same word 5 times, they can choose a big sticker from my sticker drawer, to do whatever they want with it... I didn't add definitions, because I think half of the fun is looking it up :)

I'm excited about this idea, but the kids haven't seen it yet, so we will see how they like it! I think this will be a good way to improve their vocabulary, and I can actually feel like they are learning something from ME!!

If anyone would like a copy of my list, leave your email address and I would be happy to forward it to you!! But, you can make your own almost as easily...

I won my first giveaway!!

I was going to wait until the apron arrived to show it off, but I just can't help myself!! I WON!! I Actually WON a giveaway! And this blog is definitely worth checking out.. Here is the apron that I won... Isn't it so stinking cute??? You can check out the other Flirty Aprons here! Thanks again Capitol Heights Mommy!!

Not My Child MONDAY

It was NOT my 7 year old stepson that decided his curiosity outweighed his fear of getting into trouble. Big Trouble. He did NOT find a turquoise thong on Laundry Day and decide he wanted to show his friends in school!

I did NOT find it in the side pocket of his backpack, while looking for his missing glove.. (which, by the way, has been lost since the day I bought them...) And he did NOT get grounded from everything but homework and reading for the entire weekend. Nope, not MY child!!

Drab to Fab Transformation-Day 1

I have hit a rut... Recently, I began to realize that my needs have taken a backseat to the needs (and wants) of my children, and I have decided to take my life back! I am going to FIND freetime to do the things that I want to do-just for me. I'm not sure what this will mean yet, but it will include those much-deserved bubble baths, painted toenails, facials, and maybe even exercise!! :) Whatever I decide I want to do.

I realize that this cannot happen without a schedule... and that is where my problem lies. I am horrible at keeping my OWN schedule. When I was working outside the home, I followed other people's deadlines. And it worked. But trying to maintain my OWN schedule has been a real struggle for me. I find myself lounging around until the last minute, then racing the clock to get the job done. Whether it be getting out of the house to pick the kids up... or cleaning for company... Moving into a 5 bedroom, 3 bathroom house with THREE living rooms has been a dream come true... AND A NIGHTMARE! I was NOT prepared for the upkeep!!

So here it is. My New Years Resolution? No. My life-changing goal? Maybe. I think I will call it "My attempt at living a more productive life." Sure, why not?

So, here it goes. I have my schedule written out, all of my i's (and j's) dotted and my t's crossed.. The hardest part will be enlisting the help of my capable children.

Getting to Know You

1. Waffles, pancakes or french toast?
All are great, but there is nothing better than a Waffle with Whipped Cream and Strawberries!! Yum!! (besides these fabulous Strawberry Crepes-with or without lime.. you GOTTA try this recipe..)

http://www.bettycrocker.com/recipes.aspx/breakfast-wraps/1e2bbf7b-4c6e-444f-83fd-a427ea964f18

2. Dream home..What would it look like?I used to think i wanted a HUGE house, but now that I have one, I'm not sure about that :) unless there was a maid..... This is the floorplan I designed in College-my computer wouldn't let me type, so I had to draw the words out.. sorry if it is illegible.





3. Favorite sport to watch during the Winter Olympics? I have tried to watch the Winter Olympics on television, but after watching several of them in PERSON in 2002, it's hardly comparable..

4. The first word that comes to mind when describing yourself? Tall :)really, that was the first thing that came to mind...

5. Dresses, pants (jeans, leggings, etc.) or skirts? Any, with the right outfit.. I am an all-or-nothing kinda gal, so you will either see me in workout clothes, or dressed up head to toe.. I have made it a goal not to leave the house without being totally ready though..

6. What is your favorite time of day? I am definitely a night person, but it is only my favorite when I know I can sleep in the next morning..

7. Beach or Mountains..which do you prefer? Growing up with mountains, I would have to say the Beach- Totally different and exciting!

8.Will you watch the Super Bowl? Watch? I dunno. But I DO plan on sitting in the room chatting (and eating!) until the funny commercials come on!

Fabulous Finds (Friday)

I am a bit late reading blogs, so this is my post for Friday's Fabulous Finds..

I stumbled upon this cedar chest for $5... it has been painted navy blue, to match the previous owner's Americana decorations, but she never finished it.. It has already been sanded and everything.. AND ITS A LANE! One of the best brands out there!!

I felt guilty taking it for such a cheap price, and even asked if the price tag had accidentally been switched! But I know it will be well-appreciated in my home, and I am so excited to give it a good paint job, and possibly upholstering the top with microfiber/leather.. This is a great project for January! I will be posting pictures as soon as it is completed...

Change of Plans.....

Like many others, I was waiting until January to begin working out and losing my weight that I gained AFTER my now 14 month was born baby weight. I bought a Jillian Michaels Workout DVD, picked out some workout clothes, and waited for January 1, 2010 to arrive. Once January was here, I was actually getting excited to start working out and getting a "beach body" for the summer...

While taking my kids sledding that day, I was asked several times to go down... but I didn't feel like I should. So, when the kids were done, I had gone down a total of TWO times... I got home, and quickly my suspicions were proven correct.

P.R.E.G.N.A.N.T.

While I am truly disappointed to put off working out... Again... I am so excited and can't wait for my little one to get here. (Anyone that knows my story is aware that I was not supposed to be able to HAVE children-and if I would have listened to my doctor's advice, I never would have been able to...) My daughter will be 2 years old when the baby comes, which is how far apart I would have hoped for them to be... I feel like this couldn't have worked out better!

Christmas Traditions

I posted this on someone else's blog, but after I started writing, I decided I should post on my own as well.. Some people feel that Santa shouldn't be celebrated at Christmastime, because he takes away from Jesus...

While I do agree that Santa should not get all the credit at Christmas time, I don't feel that he should be omitted completely...

What my husband and I do each year is this- Christmas Eve we have a "birthday party" complete with a birthday cake.. for Jesus (Corny I know, but the kids love it!!) (We also set out carrots on our roof for the reindeer..)

Then the next morning... The kids each get their stocking, filled by "Santa" with socks, a new toothbrush, a few toys, and some candy.. Then they get to see our tree. In front of our fireplace, we place ONE gift for each child, not wrapped, from santa. Everything else is from us, so we get the credit we deserve, while they are still able to believe. And here is why I think they should believe in Santa...

When I was a child, I believed in Santa, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, etc... When I was in 3rd Grade, (a few weeks before Easter) I went to my mom with a simple question, expecting a simple answer. I asked, "Mom, if Easter is supposed to be about Jesus, why is there an Easter Bunny?" She called my older brother (Who also still believed)into the room and said, "We need to talk. Santa Clause isn't real." She went on to explain that all of the child traditions I was used to were, in fact, make believe. I remember wishing that I never asked.. I was the second of six children. That year, we had to do a separate egg hunt that was REALLY hard!! and everyone else in my family got to do the normal one. We had to pretend, for the younger kids, that we still believed in Santa, or we wouldn't get our gift from him... when Honestly, I just wished I DID still believe.

My honest opinion is-let them be kids as long as they can!! It is getting more and more difficult to maintain "childhood innocence"... and as long as other kids his age believe it, he should be able to also. You can always choose to tell him later...

Thanksgiving

Wow. Four years ago the holidays took on a new meaning for my family and me. Sometimes I feel like it was just yesterday... Living in a 2 bedroom house with my family of 8... No electricity-which also meant no fridge, no microwave, no oven, of course no washer OR dryer... We put our milk outside the back door to keep it cold, and ate food that had to be room temperature for every meal. Our christmas tree in the front room was barely visible, because there were no lights to brighten it up... I was a Senior in High School, and had to do my hair and makeup in the rear view mirror of my car.. (forget popularity.. not an option..) This could have easily been labeled the worst thanksgiving EVER, but at the same time, I learned a lot. Gratitude-for the people i worked with at the hospital.. for being kind enough to deliver an entire Thanksgiving dinner to my doorstep.. Friendship-for a family living in such tight quarters, it would be impossible not to interact with eachother.. Compassion-for the many families that were also in need that year.. Appreciation-for the simple things that I overlooked before.. I could go on and on, but what I am really getting at here- is that sometimes the hardest times a person may face may eventually be the ones you remember the most. Simple things like hanging Christmas lights now hold a special meaning to me...

I wrote a christmas poem in 2002, but it wasn't until 2005 that I could really apply it to my own life.. I am writing it all from memory, so I'm sure I am missing something, but here it is anyway..

The Truth About Christmas

What does Christmas really mean? What is it all about?
Is it the Christmas carols we sing, or the mistletoe that is hung out?
Is it about Saint Nicholas, or the presents in his sleigh?
Is it the places we go shopping, each and every day?
When you wake up Christmas morning, what are you excited for?
Is it the presents you hoped were left, or the snow outside your door?
Christmas isn't only that.. it is also so much more..
It is about family, and giving to the poor..
Christmas is for kindly deeds, and being near those you love..
It is about forgiveness and thinking of God above.
If it weren't for our loved ones, then what would be the use-
of drinking warm Hot Chocolate, and putting lights up on your roof?
Most of all, we must NEVER forget, the reason this came to be.
God's son, Jesus Christ, was born. A miracle for all to see.
He was born to a virgin mother, and wrapped in swaddling clothes.
Three wise men came to visit him, bringing Frankincense, Myrrh, and Gold.
Think of all he gave for us, it was MORE than just his death.
Jesus gave his entire LIFE, just to help us pass our "test".
So when you think of Christmas, think of those you love on earth.
But also think of Jesus Christ, and the meaning of his birth.